Let Go of Control: How to Learn the Art of Surrender

The Art of Letting Go


Steve Maraboli said that, “You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” If you’re a control freak, this quote might actually add to your feelings of anxiety. But either way, all of us can benefit from heeding the info below—and from “surrendering” much more frequently in life.

#1: We try to control things because we fear the unknown.

However, remember that most of life is unpredictable, and try not to be afraid of the future.

#2: Control is attaching yourself to an outcome you deem best.

Instead, train yourself to adapt well to any situation, and you will experience less fear and less desire to control virtually everything. Oftentimes, there are several paths you can take that will lead to success.

#3: Surrender is more productive than control.

When human beings surrender, they tend to be more calm and at peace than when they are attempting to control a situation. When you’re calm and at peace you’re usually breathing deeply and seeing clearly, but when your breath is shallow and your adrenaline is pumping (which usually happens when you’re intensely trying to control your circumstances), it often makes it impossible to make rational or sensible decisions. Ironically, trying to control things puts you less in control of them.

The Art of Surrendering

Think if it as stopping your fight, or as accepting and going with the flow of the Universe more. True surrender is true acceptance of what is, and genuine faith that the Earth will keep spinning even without your influence. You don’t have to stop acting period, you just have to start acting from a state of surrender. Again, you will actually have more control over most situations if you perceive them from the perspective of surrender, so you will actually have a better chance of achieving positive results. However, it should go without saying that shifting from control-mode to surrender-mode is easier said than done, even if it’s genuinely desired.

You have to learn to “catch yourself,” and to consciously shift from control-mode to surrender-mode. For instance, if you notice you’re being overly controlling, try imagining that you are paddling upstream instead of downstream. Then envision yourself pulling your paddles into your boat, and just drifting downstream with the current. With practice, something like this should immediately start to ease the tension. Checkout the other tips below in order to hone your ability to surrender rather than control.

#1: Contemplate what will happen if you do embrace surrender over control.

Pinpoint what your biggest fears really are, and then scrutinize them to determine if they are valid or not. Oftentimes, the worst likely outcome will not be as bad as you imagine if you take the time to think closely about the situation. Furthermore, sometimes you’ll realize that some of the worst outcomes aren’t likely to occur at all, and that even if they do, it still won’t result in anything close to the end of the world.

#2: Make sure your problems are really yours.

If the issue at hand impacts someone else or other people more directly than it does you, it will probably be much easier to surrender as opposed to control. After all, managing our own lives is challenging enough, and it’s usually easier to do without having too many other people attempting to control it.

#3: Would surrendering equate to feeling freedom?

If it would, then free yourself! Once again, even if you do have a pertinent problem to solve, you’ll stand a much better chance of solving it properly if your mind and body are functioning “freely.”

Albert Einstein once said that, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” Have a little faith that our Universe is friendly, and think how impossible life would be if it was hostile. There are so many things that really are way out of our control, so in reality, we do a lot of surrendering whether we’re trying to be controlling or not. So, please remember to float with the current more often, and also that casting away metaphorical control often results in gaining control in reality. Or, simply to make things easier on yourself, just remember that surrendering can be surprisingly productive.


Curated by iRelease



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